Kitchen Soliloquy #4: The Psychopath Toaster

If ever there was a bad-ass in the kitchen it was the toaster. It was a nutcase.

Any contact you come with it, it just rages at you, unreservedly, apologetically. God help you if you throw a knife in there

It’s sole and primary purpose is to hurt others, torture them, literally char them alive. Lets sit in quiet thought for a moment for all of the poor slices of bread who had already suffered enough birthing method.

Around a year ago I came in from a night out, a tad intoxicated. In my kitchen I looked around me and I wanted to be productive, as was clearly the sensible thing to do at 4am. And I suppose I was; I ended up writing a collection of micro-stories about the collection of items in my kitchen. I was looking through that notepad today and I decided I’d let them see the light of air, as nonsensical as they may be.

That’s number 4, number five is on the way tomorrow, same place, don’t miss it.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s